Birthday Traditions
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Season 1 story. Not sure about the rating, the story includes legal drinking and some mild language. Basically, Jack throws a birthday party for the science twins. SJ also
1. Fighting

A/N (June 13, 2006). This is the beginning of the "Birthday Traditions Series." For those of you reading this series as a nominated work for the 2006 Stargate Fan Awards, here is the index of IDs to the rest of the stories, in order: Birthday Traditions 2: 2240166. Birthday Traditions 3: 2257174. Birthday Traditions 4: 2262252. Birthday Traditions: Jack's Day: 2276143. Birthday Traditions 5: 2284397. Birthday Traditions 6: 2364937. Birthday Traditions 7: 2398848. Birthday Traditions 8: 2451144.

Thank you for reading!

A/N: I found this story on an old disk. I can't remember when I wrote it, butI know it was before I started posting anything anywhere. Anyway, I thought it had some decent moments in it and decided to put it up, gradually but with very fast updates. It's only five chapters long. I hope it makes a few people smile. Try not to sweat the math too much;).

Ch 1: Fighting

"All right," Colonel O'Neill thought to himself as he sat around the familiar conference table in the briefing room. "Now, I may not be the world's greatest anthropologist or sociologist or whatever, but I know people well enough to know when somebody's not happy. Particularly two people I know as well as the two people currently involved in what can only be described as a shouting match."

"THERE IS NO POINT IN GOING TO YOUR LITTLE PLANET, DANIEL, IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN A FIELD TRIP!" his 2IC, Captain Carter yelled at her teammate.

"SO IS YOURS!" Dr. Daniel Jackson yelled back.

"HARDLY! I PLAN ON BRINGING BACK SAMPLES THAT COULD CHANGE THE ENTIRE FIELD OF PHYSICS… YOU JUST WANT TO ADD TO YOUR STUPID ROCK COLLECTION!"

"COLONEL! GET CONTROL OF YOUR TEAM!" General Hammond's gruff bark broke the back and forth bickering of SG-1's two youngest members.

"Daniel!" Jack said sharply. Daniel ignored him. He was now ranting about how soil samples were just baby rock samples, or something like that. Okay, so Danny wasn't exactly familiar with the chain of command, and didn't care about his professional reputation. Carter on the other hand…

"Captain Carter!" he barked in his best CO voice. At the tone in his voice she did pause, looking at him in surprise. Her cheeks were already pink and her eyes bright from yelling, but she flushed even more as she realized how unprofessional she was appearing in front of General Hammond.

"I'm sorry sir," she said quickly. She turned to the General as well. "General, I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," Hammond said, looking pointedly at Dr. Jackson.

Jack could see it on her face. She dearly wanted to object. No matter how irate, however, Sam Carter would not argue with the General.

"Yes, sir." She turned to Daniel and fixed him with an icy glare. "I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson," she said icily.

"Dr. Jackson," General Hammond prompted.

"Sorry," Daniel muttered towards the table.

General Hammond, feeling much more like he was spending the weekend with his little bickering granddaughters rather than having a meeting with his flagship team, said sharply, "Dr. Jackson, look Captain Carter in the eyes and apologize to her like you mean it," he ordered.

Daniel rolled his eyes while they were pointed at the table so that the General couldn't see, then met Sam's eyes and said, "Sorry, Sam."

Unbelievably, it was as if a switch was flicked somewhere. Jack, the General, and Teal'c, who had been watching the meeting stoically as always, all watched in a kind of horrified amazement as they both suddenly started apologizing profusely and sincerely. Carter even looked near tears.

"Okay, okay, enough," Hammond ordered finally, being almost more disturbed by this than he was by their arguing.

"We should be sticking together, not fighting…" Daniel was saying.

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I let our personal…" she trailed off suddenly and they both clammed up, looking around guiltily, clearly hoping they weren't the center of attention.

While Jack gaped at them like a goldfish for several moments, Hammond was the first to recover. "Now that you're both listening, maybe you'll realize that you can BOTH go to the planets you want to visit. Captain Carter, yours isn't going to require sending another research team afterwards if all goes well, so Dr. Jackson, we'll send you to yours first. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Carter said quickly.

"Thank you, General Hammond," Daniel said sincerely.

"You're welcome. Both of you are dismissed. Jack, Teal'c, I'd like a word," he added casually.

Carter and Daniel exchanged looks that plainly said they knew the meeting was going to continue without them, and it was going to be ABOUT them. Carter shot her CO a helpless look. He was inclined to melt at it, but he was still more than a little irritated by what she had blurted out about her and Daniel's "personal" life. She bit her lip however, and continued to look at him for help, and he growled to himself as he dismissed them, nodding at her to show he was going to try to smooth things over. Damn them both.

They left the office talking quietly, their heads very close together.

"Colonel, I'm more than a little concerned about both of them," Hammond said as soon as they left. "Have they been acting this emotional for a long time?"

"No, sir, they usually get along annoyingly well."

"Annoyingly?"

"Yeah, well, I can't speak for Teal'c here, but I find it annoying while trying to sleep off-world while they're up all night having science club meetings."

"It does not disturb me, O'Neill," Teal'c put in. "Although I too am disturbed by their current behavior."

"Any ideas on whether they're just bickering between each other, or is this just a general attitude problem?"

"I observed Daniel Jackson in a most foul mood yesterday when he had trouble procuring his tenth cup of coffee. Captain Carter was nowhere in the vicinity."

"They're probably just tired, General. We've been working pretty hard," Jack pointed out. "I'd prefer if you let me try to get to the bottom of this myself before going for… outside help."

"Very well. But another outburst like that during a meeting, I will have no choice but to interfere, and that means rounds of psych evaluations for all of you."

"Yes, sir. I'm sure it won't come to that."


	2. Oh!

Ch 2: Oh!

Jack spent the next day and a half trying to get to the bottom of Daniel and Carter's increasingly volatile moods. They either seemed joined at the hip and against the world, or they were at each other's throats. Jack had tried talking to them together, and separately, trying to get one of them to rat the other out.

It hadn't worked. He had enlisted Teal'c's help. Teal'c had suggested physically restraining them both and depriving them of anything but water until they worked out their problems. Jack wasn't quite that desperate yet, but he was getting there.

He had this horrible feeling in his gut that they were hiding a personal relationship from the SGC, and that was the source of the problem. The rational part of his brain pointed out that Daniel was married, and very much in love with his wife. Hell, the whole reason he was with the SGC was to find her. Still, the man could have resigned himself to the fact that his wife's mind was gone, and continued in search of her body to honor her memory only. Who knew?

Neither of them were talking, and his patience was almost completely gone. If they were having some sort of affair, it looked as though it was going to ruin SG-1. SG-1 had instantly felt like a family to him, and he really didn't want that to happen. Besides, HE had put aside all sorts of feelings for Carter already out of respect for their ranks and team, so it was hardly fair for Daniel to swoop in and just ignore all the rules.

He hadn't even let himself develop real feelings! There were just the beginnings of feelings, and he'd shut them away properly, as the Air Force demanded. Well, mostly anyway. They may have only been beginnings, but they were still very big beginnings… Still… he needed to get to the bottom of this before they went in the field again.

Maybe Dr. Fraiser would know something… Daniel spent a lot of time in the infirmary and he was quite the talkative lad, and Carter and the doc were close friends…

"Aw, come on, Doc, it's for their own good. I just want to help!" he was trying to wheedle Dr. Fraiser into spilling some beans, but she wasn't born yesterday.

"Colonel, for the last time, I will not betray doctor/patient confidentiality, nor will I betray the trust of people I consider to be my friends, no matter how much you throw your rank in my face."

"Doc, PLEASE," he begged, looking so desperate that Janet finally decided to help him out a bit.

"I haven't heard anything specific, Colonel, but I can wager a guess. And I would guess that everything you need to know is in their personnel files, Colonel," she said pointedly.

"What does that mean…"

"It means what it means. Now, please let me make my rounds."

"Thanks, doc," he said with a sigh, going back to his office.

He'd already read both their personnel files, of course, but it had been a while. He requisitioned them and got a very strange look from the SF that brought them, but he didn't let that deter him. He spent the next two hours combing through both of their files.

There was nothing in there he didn't already know, and nothing that would explain their moods. Teal'c entered and stood in front of O'Neill's desk with his usual formality. "O'Neill," he said.

"T, what's up?" Jack asked, tossing Carter's file down on top of Daniel's and rubbing his eyes. "I thought it my duty to inform you that Major Carter is in the infirmary."

"What happened?" he demanded suddenly. She probably electrocuted herself again…

"She is unharmed, O'Neill. It was not my intention to imply that she is injured…"

"All right, all right, just… what did you want to tell me?"

"She was most upset. I believe she was crying. Dr. Fraiser was trying to comfort her."

"I don't know what to do anymore, Teal'c… Fraiser told me to look through their personnel files. Said the answer to what's bugging them was right in there, but…" He opened them both and looked down at their pictures in frustration. Suddenly something caught his eye.

"What is it, O'Neill?"

"When's Carter's birthday?" he asked Teal'c, grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling something down.

"Of that I am unsure. It is not tradition to celebrate one's birth on Chulak."

"Really?"

"Indeed."

"Huh. Well, here it is. And here, when somebody turns a significant number, sometimes they… don't take it so well."

"And Captain Carter's birthday approaches?"

"Yeah, it's… Saturday. And here's the kicker. So is Daniel's."

"Dr. Jackson was born on the same day as Captain Carter?"

"Apparently. I'm guessing that's why they're both so upset. She's turning the big 3-0 and he's turning the big 3-5. That's got to be it…" he actually laughed in relief. And he'd thought they were having an affair… he laughed again.

"What is so amusing, O'Neill?"

"Just… nothing. I'm used to feeling like the most immature member of the team, that's all. I mean I know they're the kids but… anyway. It's just nice to see them feeling… human."

"Nice? I find it most disturbing, O'Neill."

"Yeah… well, lucky for us, I know how to fix this problem."

"Indeed?"

"Yeah. Be ready to come home with me tomorrow night. We're having a party."

"If they are indeed upset by the aging process, might that not further antagonize them?"

"Yeah, at first. But you underestimate how charming I can be. Besides. It's ridiculous for them to be so upset by such a small number. And I'm going to be sure they know it. Incidentally, how old are you, Teal'c?"

"I am over one hundred years of age, O'Neill."

"Really? Wow. Well, let's keep that as our little ace in the hole if my shindig fails to bring them back to the world of normal people."

"There are many things about that statement I do not understand."

"Yeah, don't sweat it. Actually… tomorrow night… I'm going to need some time to get ready for this. You're going to have to help me get them to my house, Teal'c."

"I am as anxious for their disturbing behavior to desist as you are, O'Neill. I shall help you in any way possible."

"Thanks, buddy."

-------------

A/N: I know, Carter was in all likelihood older than 30 in Season 1, but for this to work I had to give her a milestone b-day. I hope it doesn't bother anybody too much - she's quite smart, it's entirely possible she finished school very early.


	3. Planning

A/N: Thanks for all the input on the ages of the characters. I wasn't aware they had ever actually shown Carter's b-day/year. Ah well, I just like how much more laid back everyone (except Teal'c) was in Season 1.

Ch 3: Planning

Figuring he was going to be walking a fine line between succeeding and succeeding in royally pissing off his 2IC and the resident geek in one fell swoop, he decided the best tactic would be to go completely overboard in the hope of amusing them enough to not be upset with him. It was a tactic that had worked in the past for him, with his wife, on more than one occasion.

Therefore, he surprised General Hammond by requesting to go home at noon the next day, saying that he felt like he was coming down with something. Hammond was surprised, but O'Neill had a lot of down-time stored up that he was never going to use, and if the man was suddenly volunteering to take it easy, Hammond wasn't going to argue.

O'Neill did leave, but he did not take it easy.

He went to the grocery store, stocked up on alcohol and party supplies, and then went to the bakery.

"Can I help you?" the large woman behind the counter asked with a warm smile.

"Ah, yeah… I'm gonna need two cakes, as fast as possible."

"All right, sir, that shouldn't be a problem. What kind?"

"Umm… whatever you have that has the most chocolate in it."

"Ah, no problem. I know the perfect kind… you want them both to be the same?"

"Yeah… wait…" He wandered over to a book of decorating possibilities and got an idea. "Can you have any of these ready by tonight?" he asked as he flipped through it.

"Sure. We're not particularly busy today, I could take care of that. What do you want?"

"One with the dinosaurs on it that says 'Happy Birthday Danny,'" he said decisively. "And the other… ah yes, perfect… the astronaut cake, but make it say 'Happy Birthday… Sam.'"

"No problem, sir."

"Wait… do you have a girl astronaut, by any chance?"

The woman gave him a strange look. "No, sir, we don't… how would you be able to tell in a space suit though?"

"Oh. Good point. Never mind. Can you put some of these aliens from this design on the astronaut…"

"Sure. No problem, sir. Come back in two hours."

"Excellent. Thanks."

He realized he didn't have gifts for either of them. True, the party could be considered a gift, but you had to have gifts on your birthday… he knew Daniel had no family at all and he'd never heard Carter mention hers. Surely they'd exchange gifts with each other, but he needed to get them something as well.

He hurried to the mall and realized he had no idea what to get either of them. At least not anything that could be found in a mall.

He wandered around for a while, glancing at his watch nervously. He was about to give up when he stumbled across a store and grinned. Perfect. The Discovery Channel store. He quickly found some things for both of them and took them all to the counter. "Do you gift wrap by any chance?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, sir, absolutely. You can make out the cards yourself while I wrap them."

"Great. They're for two separate people though…"

"No problem, just tell me which ones go in separate boxes."

"Perfect."

By the time he was done shopping, all that was left to do was pick up the cakes. As soon as he walked into the store, the woman smiled at him again. "They're finished," she told him before he could ask. "Have a look."

She showed them to him hopefully. "What do you think?"

"They're perfect. Thank you so much."

"No problem, sir."

He handed her his credit card. As she rung him up she asked, "Twins?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you have twins?"

He looked at the cakes and realized it probably did look like he had twin children. "Oh… um… yeah." It was much simpler than telling the truth.

"Well, have a great party!" she said as he stacked the boxes on top of one another.

"Thank you," he said, carefully taking them out to his truck.

He went home and made several trips to get all of his purchases inside. He looked around his house, which was surprisingly clean, only because of the fact that he spent most of his time away from it. He did some minor straightening up and then started decorating it for the 'party.'

He thought about calling Dr. Fraiser and inviting her and Cassie, but then he thought if Carter and/or Daniel ended up not being happy with the party, it would be better to keep it between the four of them. After getting everything else ready, he got himself ready. He took a shower and got dressed casually in khakis and a green button-up shirt.

The plan was for Teal'c to call Daniel, insisting that he give him a ride over to Jack's to check on him, as he'd gone home from work 'sick' that day. And insist Carter come too. It wasn't a complicated plan, but Jack knew his team well enough to know that neither of them would refuse their large Jaffa friend when he insisted on something.


	4. Party

Ch 4: Party

Sure enough, they arrived just after the pizza did, at seven. Jack answered the door wearing two cone-shaped birthday hats on his head like horns and blew a horn. "Surprise!" he yelled with a grin.

They both looked at him in shock, then looked slowly at each other. "How did he…" Carter started, while Daniel said, "Did you tell him…"

"I found it in your personnel files!" he said, pulling Carter inside while Teal'c nudged Daniel in. "Happy birthday, kids! You should have told us about this, ya know," he scolded jokingly.

Jack watched Sam and Daniel looking around the house at the decorations. Okay, maybe he'd gone a BIT overboard, but he'd wanted to do the thing properly… there were clusters of balloons placed randomly throughout the house, as well as a big banner that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" only he had added another S at the end to make it plural. There were a bunch of streamers thrown about as well.

They turned to Teal'c suddenly, who was smiling for a change. "You knew!?" they both cried.

"Indeed," he said, bowing slightly. "I have been researching this Earth custom since Colonel O'Neill mentioned it to me. I am happy to get the chance to witness it for myself."

They nodded slowly.

"So, kids, put on your hats!" Jack insisted, handing Teal'c a party hat.

Carter reached for one as well but he said, "No, the birthday boy and girl get special hats!"

"Special?" Daniel started to ask, but it was too late. Jack had already slapped a gold glittery plastic top hat on his head. Sam was laughing heartily at it when he put a tiara on top of her head, which shut her up promptly, but amused Daniel greatly.

"All right, now everyone's dressed for the party… let's all go eat the pizza before it gets cold!" He all but shoved them into the living room, which was decorated like the rest of the house. They noticed the small piles of presents on the sofa table in surprise.

Teal'c solemnly pulled out two hidden packages from his coat and added them to the table.

"Presents are after cake," Jack insisted as he helped himself to some pizza.

"Cake?" Carter asked with a smile.

"Yup. And cake is after pizza and beer."

"Ah, just like my fifth birthday…" she said sarcastically.

He laughed. "Very good, Carter."

After their initial surprise at the ambush wore off, Carter and Daniel were both touched by how much trouble he had gone to for their birthdays, even though they still weren't happy about the fact that they were aging. Jack's childlike approach to the party (aside from the beer, of course) was making it easier to forget though, especially for Carter, who perked up quite a bit when she realized she was still the youngest person in the room by five years.

When they were done with the pizza, Jack cleared the mess away into the kitchen and came back shouting, "Time for party games!"

"Games?" Daniel asked skeptically.

"Yeah. Come on. Pin the tail on the donkey everyone!"

He had indeed purchased a pin-up donkey, which was quickly taped to the wall.

"Teal'c, what are you doing?" Jack asked as he tied a blindfold on Carter.

"I read much about this celebration ritual, O'Neill," Teal'c said calmly. "It is customary to film the party for posterity."

"Yeah for a little kid…"

"Daniel Jackson has been agreeing to allow me to try out his video camera for some time. This is the perfect opportunity."

"Ohfercryinoutloud. All right. Come on, Carter, pin the tail on the…"

"You have to spin her around first," Daniel insisted. He had had two beers and was already more than a little drunk, and now having a wonderful time.

"Oh yeah, okay… you're not going to puke on me, are ya Carter?" he asked as he twirled her around by her shoulders.

"No, sir," she said with a giggle. "I'm not as much of a lightweight as Daniel."

"Hey!" Daniel objected. "I'm not drunk!"

"Right," they both said.

Jack pointed her in the direction of the wall and said, "Okay, go for it."

She was taking forever. "SAM!" Daniel whined.

"All right all right." She stuck it on the wall randomly and pulled off the blindfold.

"Not bad," Jack said as he started to blindfold Daniel.

It wasn't on the donkey, but it was only a few inches from his bum.

Daniel took a lot more time first to find the wall, then to decide where the tail ought to go, but finally he pinned it right on top of the donkey's eye. "Aw," he said when he saw where it had ended up.

Jack and Teal'c both took turns, although Teal'c insisted it was a pointless game, even though he won.

Next, Jack insisted they play several rounds of musical chairs, but they had to stop when he, Daniel, and Sam were having a round and Sam ended up in his lap over a fight for one chair and Daniel slid right off the one he was diving for and crashed into the gift table.

After ensuring that he was all right, Jack decided it was time for cake. "Okay, you guys sit down at the table," he instructed, pushing them into the dining room.

Teal'c followed, continuing to film.

"I'll be right back with the cakes."

He went into the kitchen and lit all of the sparkler candles he had outlined their cakes with and carefully carried them both into the dining room.

"Oh my god!" Sam exclaimed as she saw the cakes and the sparklers.

"Wow," Daniel said, reaching out to scoop off some icing.

"Not yet!" Jack insisted, turning to Teal'c.

"You remember the song, right buddy?"

"Indeed."

They sang loudly and enthusiastically, Jack more so than Teal'c. He drew the song out louder than any of them had thought possible, and by the time it ended they were all laughing.

It took several breaths for them to blow out their candles. "I don't want to count these," Sam said wearily as they started pulling them off.

"I didn't count them they're just for decoration."

"Speaking of decoration…" Daniel said. With the lights back on and the candles removed, they could fully appreciate their cakes. "Cool dinosaurs."

"Get it? Cause you're an archaeologist…"

"I get it. It's great! Thanks, Jack. Really. This is… great."

Jack suddenly remembered that Daniel's parents had died when he was very young. He smiled sympathetically and was taken aback when the young man suddenly launched out of his seat at him, hugging him so tightly he turned to Teal'c for help even as he patted Daniel on the back.

"Um, bud? Little help here, there's a Daniel on me."

Sam giggled at that, but Teal'c merely said, "I am busy with the camera, O'Neill."

Daniel returned himself to his seat and Jack turned to Sam. "Where's my hug, Carter?" he asked teasingly, expecting her to blush and avert her eyes.

To his surprise, she said, "All right, sir," and launched herself at him as well in a perfect imitation of Daniel. When she had returned to her seat, they were both ready for cake, and hardly able to contain their excitement.

"Yeah, you guys may be thirty today. And thirty five," Jack said as he started cutting into the cakes. "But I'd say you're acting more like your shoe sizes than your ages tonight, so don't worry about it."

He handed them large slices and new beers, then cut pieces for himself and Teal'c. They all dug into the cake.

Daniel actually had a glob of icing on his chin. Sam giggled at it, confirming Jack's suspicions that his 2IC was, despite her insistence, getting a little tipsy.

"You've got icing on your face," she informed him around a large bite of cake. Daniel wiped at his face hastily.

"So do you," Jack told her.

"What? No I don't," she insisted.

He scooped some icing off the edge of the cake and said, "Yeah you do. Right here." And he globbed some on the end of her nose.

Daniel, apparently, thought this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen, because he fell out of his chair laughing and had to be helped up by Jack.

When they had all finished their cake, Jack said, "Okay, time for presents now, guys."

They all went back into the living room to open their gifts. Daniel and Sam had already exchanged gifts earlier. Ironically, they had both gotten each other large quantities of their favorite blends of coffee. Sam explained this to the group and pecked Daniel on the cheek.

Teal'c had selected specific candles for each of them that he promised, when lit together, would help relax their minds and spirits and lead to better sleep.

"You just make sure you don't fall asleep with those on and burn down the base," Jack insisted.

"Yes, sir," Carter said seriously, hurrying over to Teal'c and hugging him and pecking him on the cheek.

Teal'c looked as surprised as he ever did. The Jaffa were not an overtly affectionate people. Daniel just made a snorting sound. He was really quite drunk by this point.

Jack gave Daniel a build-a-dinosaur kit, and a pen that was shaped like a mummy, and a pair of boxers with aliens on them. He gave Sam a little stuffed alien doll thingy, a glow-in-the-dark bouncy ball made to look like a globe, and a shirt with the periodic table on the back of it. On the front it said, "Science is pHun."

She mock-glared at him as she read it, and informed them all that the table was missing several elements she had discovered off-world.

"That's why I knew you'd love it so much," he said triumphantly.

She laughed and threw it at him, then turned to Daniel, who was laughing hysterically at the fact that he'd stuck the two bows from the boxes onto his gray tee-shirt, approximately where his nipples were.

"Nice rack, Danny," Jack said, laughing. They didn't even match, one was red, one was green.

"Thanks, Jack," he said, continuing to laugh at his own comedic genius.

"Hey Carter, I'm the only one who doesn't get a thank you?" he asked suddenly, turning to her and putting on a hurt puppy look.

In her slightly inebriated state, it took her mind a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. When it clicked, she blushed madly and pecked him on the cheek as fast as humanly possible. "That was... weird," Daniel commented.

"Yeah, no more beer for you," Jack told Daniel. "Okay, Teal'c, you're being left out of the festivities with that camera, turn it off," O'Neill instructed suddenly.

"Indeed I am not…"

"Yeah ya are. Besides, this party's about to become R-rated, so switch it off."

Teal'c switched it off in confusion. Everyone was looking at him suspiciously. "Okay, not R-rated, but I thought that would make the video more interesting… maybe PG-13..."

He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a large tray.

"Are those…" Sam started to ask.

"Jell-o shots!" he said proudly. "Made by yours truly, for the blue jell-o loving birthday girl!"

"What are jell-o shots?" Daniel asked.

"You're kidding!" Sam said, laughing.

"Didn't do a lot of partying in college, didya Danny boy?" Jack asked, passing him one.

"No."

"Try it. You'll like it."

He eyed it suspiciously, but as Sam had already eagerly gulped one down, he followed suit.

"WOA!" he said after he had swallowed. "What IS that…"

"Jell-o and vodka," Jack informed him, clapping him on the back.

"Indeed?" Teal'c asked, taking one himself to sample.

"Now kids, slow down," Jack said. "These are for another game I had in mind."

Carter, the only other person in the room who could possibly have a clue what that meant, looked at him suspiciously. Another game…

"Truth or dare," he said. "And if we think you're lying or you won't do the dare, you do a shot."

"I'm game," Carter said, looking at Daniel.

"All right, but be nice to me, if I drink much more I'll be throwing up all over your house, Jack."

"Yeah, about that... you should probably all stay here tonight," he suggested. They all shrugged and agreed. "Okay. Teal'c, do you know how to play this game?"

"I believe its name is self-explanatory, O'Neill."

Sam giggled. Daniel snorted, then sneezed.

"Bless you," they all said absently.

"Thanks guys..."

"I guess we'll let sneezy go first since he's the birthday boy."

"I'm the birthday girl!" Sam objected.

"Age before beauty, Carter, get used to it," he said absently, passing Daniel some tissues. "Who's your first victim, Danny boy?"

"Umm... Jack. Since we all know how old Sam and I are now, how old are YOU?"

"Hmm, let me just do the math there..."

"Jack..."

"Forty-five. Now respect your elders, Spacemonkey, hand me another beer. It's my turn. Teal'c."

"O'Neill."

"Is it even possible for you to get drunk?"

"Of that I am unsure. My symbiote would require a massive volume of your alcohol, as you call it, to feel its effects. Even then I am uncertain. Of course, on Chulak, we have many drinks strong enough to cause a similar reaction to the one you are all currently experiencing."

"Aw, sorry, Teal'c..."

"I am not troubled by it, O'Neill. I am enjoying this birthday party immensely."

"Good. Now you get to pick somebody."

"All right... O'Neill. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Was it you who replaced my large sized towel with a handcloth last week while I was showering, knowing that the locker room was slated to become the women's locker room in mere minutes?"

Jack glanced around at his team, took a good hard look at Teal'c's impressive muscles, and grabbed a shot of jell-o in response. "As I suspected," Teal'c said, tipping his head.

"All right, let's see, who hasn't been picked on yet..." Jack asked in an overly-dramatic tone. "Ah, the birthday girl. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay, let's see... ooh I've got one... that mole that your lovely robot counterpart mentioned..."

She blushed and grabbed a jell-o shot.

"Damn," he said dramatically, although he hadn't really expected her to answer.

"Daniel," she said quickly, to get the attention off of herself. "Truth or dare?"

-----

A/N: Next chapter is the last, and it's shippier than my usual stuff, which is probably why I never posted this one before, now that I think about it. Oh well.


	5. Traditions

A/N: I can't believe I actually did this. My convenient manipulation of the characters' ages for the purposes of this obviously fictitious story was questioned so much that I finally am going to address it. (I won't go into too much detail over the awkward 'Why are you rummaging around in the closet in the middle of the night?' 'I have to see if I can pause my Stargate DVD on Carter and Daniel's birthday of course...' conversation I had with my fiance...) Okay, the general consensus from reviewers seems to be that Daniel is too old and Carter is too young in my story. One brilliant reviewer (jess, I believe, sorry if I'm mistaken...) who got closest to the truth actually, said that you can see Carter's birthday on "Entity." Sooo... after swearing I wasn't going to do this (because the simple fact that I give them the same birthdate shows that I'm making this up,) I did it. If you pause when the entity is scanning everybody, you can read the top half of Carter's b-day, and it's 29/12/69. The last 9 could possibly be an 8, but it looks exactly like the top of a 9 from a higher line that I believe is her ID #. Okay, so in Season 1, that would make her 28. Now for Danny boy. His is very clearly visible, but you have to pause quickly because a black box appears over the birthdate after a split second, but I finally got it. HisDOB is listed as 04/01/65. Therefore in Season 1, he would be 32. SO, while I did manipulate their ages a bit, turns out I apparently aged them up a bit rather than down. Seriously, guys, try not to spend too much time thinking about this kind of stuff. Writers change their own characters' b-days frequently, especially when the series has been running for a while. Scully's changed by three years at some point during "The X-Files," and I know Orlin gives Carter a 'birthstone' for another month, because my birthday is in December and the stone is light blue, not an emerald. So anyway, sorry for the long note, but since everyone seemed concerned about the dates, I thought I'd address it (when writing the story, I just guessed how old they looked to me in Season 1.) I realize Amanda Tapping is actually older than Michael Shanks, but apparently Daniel Jackson actually _is _almost five years older than Sam Carter, as his b-day is January '65 and hers is late late December '69. So at least I got that part close. Oh yeah, in case anyone's curious, Jack's is listed as 20/10/52.

Now, on with the shippiness, please!

Ch 5: Traditions

Half an hour later, Daniel had been forced to call General Hammond and profess his undying love for all bald men. Then Teal'c had had to call General Hammond for 'help,' as Daniel Jackson was stalking him. General Hammond, at that point, had connected the odd calls with the even odder noises in the background, figured out loosely what was going on, and informed them that the next person to call him would be scrubbing the toilets for a month.

Sam had told them all about the time she was arrested when she was fifteen for helping her brother and his football friends pull a prank on the principal that involved dismantling his car and putting it back together on the roof of the school.

Jack, who had looked at her after that with newfound respect, had been forced to teach Teal'c the chicken dance. Teal'c had been forced to hop around the room with his symbiote pouch exposed like a kangaroo, making kangaroo noises. As none of them knew exactly what noise a kangaroo made, he had made a variety of animal sounds to compensate.

Daniel had admitted under duress that he had first started studying other languages to help tutor a girl he had a crush on in high school.

Teal'c insisted he needed to go perform Kel-no-reem after this, and Jack was left with a slightly drunk astrophysicist and a very drunk archaeologist.

He had had about as much to drink as Carter, but the combination of his extra pounds, heavy training in this matter, and Irish heritage was keeping him much more sober than she was, although he had to admit he was finding himself impressed with her ability to use remarkably large words while growing steadily more intoxicated.

Neither of the doctors in his company seemed to have realized this though, because as soon as Teal'c was gone, they seemed to feel they were only in the company of other intoxicated people, and therefore didn't need to be too worried about their behavior.

"Truth or dare, sir?" Carter asked.

"Dare," he said bravely, wanting to see what she would come up with.

"All right... Monday you have to wear my new shirt to work."

"It's going to be a little snug..."

"It's big enough. And you have to say hi to Hammond in it BEFORE you go put on your uniform."

"Okay," he said with a grin. George already knew he was crazy anyway. "Then I've got a dare for both of you. You can do it together or I'll just get ya both eventually."

"What's that?"

"Sing a song. A duet. Together."

They looked at each other and shrugged. "What song?"

"Oh I'm partial to that lovely little ditty, 'I'm a little teapot.'"

They both stood up and sang the song, much to his amusement. Unfortunately, at the part where Daniel tipped over and poured himself out, he actually did tip over.

Laughing, Sam and Jack helped him onto the couch. "Think he's going to be okay?" Sam asked, slightly worried.

"Yeah, he'll be all right," Jack said, tucking his arms and legs back onto the couch. "He didn't have that much."

Sam covered him with a blanket and took the top hat off of his head. "He looks peaceful," she stated with a fond smile at her teammate.

"Yeah. Wait till he wakes up tomorrow morning though."

Sam laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Good thing tomorrow's Saturday."

"Your actual birthday," he added. "I thought you might have plans already so that's why I did this tonight..."

"Yeah, my dad's supposed to drive up and have dinner with me. Not sure if he will though."

"That's nice."

"I guess. Daniel's coming too. He doesn't have anybody but us, and Sha're... plus he can help deflect Dad's interrogation."

"Interrogation?"

"Yeah, he hates what I do," she said simply.

He looked at her in shock. "Hates what you do?" he repeated incredulously.

"Yeah. The whole deep space radar telemetry."

It took him a second to remember that was his cover as well. "Oh. Yeah."

"He wanted me to be an astronaut."

He laughed. "The irony."

"Yeah."

She looked a little bit sad all of a sudden, and he wasn't about to have that, not after all he'd done to cheer them both up. "Hey. Let's get out of here so we don't wake up Daniel. You're not tired, are you?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Let's go pack a few supplies..."

She followed him into the kitchen and watched in confusion as he put two large pieces of cake into a container, then put that container in his back pack. When he pulled out a bottle of champagne from the fridge, she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"You've been learning from Teal'c," he commented with a smile. "This was supposed to go with the cake the first time around, but I forgot. Pretty stupid, I guess. Nobody wants cake and beer."

"They went together surprisingly well," she assured him as he stuffed the bottle in his pack and grabbed two glasses.

"Um, sir, if you don't mind me asking, where..."

"Outside. Oh. Let me find you a coat." He grabbed his black and brown leather coats, put on the brown one, and handed her the black.

Sensing he wasn't in the mood for objections or questions, she put it on without asking him anything and followed him out into the back yard. "You're not too drunk to get up that ladder safely, are you?" he asked seriously.

She looked up at the roof. "No, sir. But..."

"That's where my telescope is," he explained.

"Oh."

"I'm serious, Carter, I don't want you falling off my roof..."

"I know. I won't, I swear. I'm okay."

"All right. Ladies first then."

"I thought it was age before beauty," she said with a smirk.

He grinned and waited at the bottom in case she started to fall, until she was safely up at the top. Then he climbed up as well, realizing there was only one chair up there. "Ah, have a seat," he said, sitting down on the flat roof next to the chair, waiting for her to take the chair.

To his surprise, she sat down next to him on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. "Cold?" he asked.

"Nope. Can I ask a question?"

"Of course," he said as he started removing the contents of the pack.

"Well, this is a widow's walk. There's a door right there, presumably leading indoors... why the ladder?"

"It was easier to get the ladder out of the garage than move all the junk blocking the inside of the door."

"Ah. I knew there was a reason." He nodded and concentrated on opening the bottle.

When the cork shot off and it started to overflow, he wasn't prepared and completely soaked both of them. "Well. Good thing I gave you a shirt for your birthday, isn't it?" he asked, hoping she wasn't mad he'd perhaps ruined her sweater.

She wasn't. She was laughing, although she did zip up the jacket to provide more warmth. "Yes, sir, it is."

"Well, you thought the cake was good before..."

"It was. I think it was the best cake I've ever tasted..."

"Good. But it'll probably taste better now without that beer and pizza."

She took a large bite and nodded. "Mmm, you're right."

"Good. So, all in all, you think thirty's going to be okay after all?"

"Yes, sir. I know it's stupid to get so upset but... never mind."

"No, you can... talk about it. I mean, if you want. I'm not going to make fun of your or anything. I mean I could," he continued, nudging her shoulder with his. "Seeing as how you're like the youngest astrophysicist/captain/stargate expert I'VE ever met, even if you are THIRTY... but I won't."

"Thank you, sir. I wasn't... worried about it professionally. It was just..."

"Personal stuff?"

"Yes, sir. Like you said, maybe I've done a lot professionally that some people haven't by thirty, but other than that, I don't... I mean, I can't even keep my plants alive."

"Carter, you keep everyone on this planet, and thousands of people on OTHER planets, alive."

"Yes, sir."

"I know what you mean though, I went through a similar funk at forty. Course, my CO didn't give me cake and a tiara. He just yelled SNAP OUT OF IT! In the locker room one day."

She giggled. "Well, thank you sir, I much prefer your method."

"So do I," he agreed, taking another big bite of cake. "So Daniel's just been having the same thing?"

"Yes, sir. I think his is made worse by the fact that he misses his wife so much though... kind of hard to celebrate your birthday without your wife, I guess."

"Yeah," he agreed.

They fell into a calm silence for several minutes, eating and drinking occasionally. Jack was looking up at the stars. "So how many of those have planets we've been to?" he asked casually.

"Well, none, sir... through the telescope we could find some but with the naked eye... not even Chulak."

"Oh," he said, sounding a bit disappointed. "Well... they're still cool to look at."

"Yes, sir."

After several minutes of comfortable silence, Carter said, "Umm, Colonel?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"I just wanted to say again that I... and Daniel too, really, really appreciate this. I mean, the fact that you noticed what was bothering us both and then found a way... an unorthodox way, granted, but still... a way to make us feel great about our birthdays instead of miserable... it means a lot, sir."

"Now, Carter, don't be getting all mushy on me or I might change my mind about turning this into a tradition," he said gruffly, draining his glass of champagne to have something to do.

"A tradition?" she asked with a surprised smile.

"Well, I think it would be a good one. I mean, it's pretty unusual you and Danny having the same birthday, we might as well celebrate. And Teal'c told me they don't celebrate birthdays on Chulak, so we should have a party for him too."

"I'd have to find out when his birthday is on Chulak and compare their planet's rotation to ours, then..."

"Carter!" he said pointedly.

"Sorry," she said with a sheepish smile.

He sighed, shaking his head. "It's all right, I know you can't help it."

She smiled and looked up at the sky. It was a very clear night so they could see tons of stars. She glanced at him briefly and blushed, not knowing how long he had been watching her. "What?" she asked self-consciously.

"I just realized we forgot one very important birthday tradition," he said suggestively, slipping his arm around her.

"PLEASE tell me you're not about to say 'birthday spankings,'" she said incredulously.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Like the way you're thinking there, Captain, but no," he said, leaning in and kissing her.

He couldn't help lingering a bit. They were out on his roof under a blanket of stars, both quite drunk, and they both tasted like chocolate and champagne. So the friendly kiss (he would insist to anyone he had _intended _it to stay that way) turned into much more.

When they finally pulled apart to breathe, they both looked at each other, clearly surprised at what had just happened. Jack hadn't thought the whole 'sparks flying' thing was real before. Sure, they'd been flirting around occasionally during the first few months of their time together on SG1, but neither had expected anything like... _that_.

Luckily, Carter was a lot stronger (and smarter) than he was. "Once a year," she finally said quietly, raising her eyebrow slightly.

It took him a few seconds to figure out what she meant, then he got it. It was an excellent deal, or compromise, however you wanted to look at it. Nobody needed to start questioning regulations and relationships or anything crazy like that, but there was the security there that until things changed, once a year, on her birthday, he could kiss her like that.

"It's a good tradition," he agreed, smiling fondly at her and getting to his feet. He knew they needed to go inside right now.

As he gathered up their things, she asked, "So, does that mean you're going to be kissing Daniel every year too?"

He whipped around and looked at her in surprise. Her eyes were twinkling; she was teasing him. "Cute, Carter," he said, slinging the backpack back on and heading over to the ladder. "We'll just make that Teal'c's job," he added with a wink.

The end.

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, please continue on to the sequel, Birthday Traditions 2 - Story ID: 2240166


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